Mistakes
by Abby J and Amber L
Summary: Jed and Abbey's marriage hits the breaking point. Can he forgive her ultimate betrayal? He has nine months to find out!
1. The confession

Mistakes -- Part 1  
  
Thanks to Regency for the idea and encouragement!  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey/Leo  
  
Rating: R  
  
Major angst and drama. Before Jed and Abbey fans freak out, my intention isn't to separate these two, just to test their love!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: For the first time in her marriage, Abigail Bartlet has strayed -- with her husband's best friend. But when Jed confronts her, he's in for quite a shock himself.   
  
Abbey sat on the bed she shared with her husband. She gazed off into space, just thinking about their life, their hopes, their dreams, thinking about how she may have ruined it all. It had been two months since she realized what a terrible mistake she'd made. After a brief affair with Leo, she knew she had to end it, and she did.   
  
She thought back to that cold, winter day. She had invited Leo into the garden while Jed was away. For sometime prior, Leo and Jed's relationship had been strained. Leo was feeling shut out and he didn't really know why. When Jed travelled, Leo rarely went with him anymore. Instead, he'd stay behind and work at his office in the White House, and at night, he'd make himself comfortable in the residence -- a little too comfortable. They never meant for it to happen. Abbey understood what Leo was going through because Jed was shutting her out too, like he did many times during their years at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.  
  
They were friends. They talked to each other, consoled each other, and finally made love to each other. It only happened twice, but it was enough for Jed to leave his wife and kill his best friend if he ever found out. After the first time, they both agreed it would never happen again. But it did. The second time hit Abbey more emotionally. It really sunk in what she was doing, that she was betraying the only man she's ever truly loved. That day in the garden, she ended it with Leo, who had no argument. He knew it was wrong. He didn't want to hurt Jed any more than Abbey did. The guilt almost killed her. She wanted to tell Jed so badly. She wanted him to know that she had made a mistake, but that he could trust her. She tried many times, but everytime, she'd chicken out.   
  
On this particular night, as she sat on the bed, she knew all that was over. Jed knew. She knew Jed knew because everyone else had already figured it out. Junior staffers were the first to notice Leo going to the Residence whenever Jed was away. Just as in any office, watercooler gossip made its way through the ranks. And on this day, CJ, who found out only days earlier, called Abbey only moments before to tell her that the President was on his way to the residence. Abbey braced herself for what was sure to be an explosive confrontation and at the end, she hoped that she still had a marriage because, angry or not, there was still something more she had to tell Jed.  
  
Jed entered the bedroom ready for a fight. He had already punched Leo out minutes before and now it was time for Abbey to experience his wrath. She knew this wasn't going to be pretty.  
  
"It's over!" she shouted before he got his first word out. "I called it off weeks ago!"  
  
"And that's it? You called it off so it makes everything okay?" he asked, his tone more bitter than she expected.  
  
"It was a mistake, I made it, and I'm sorry. If I could take it back..."  
  
"Oh god..." Jed began, rubbing his forehead.   
  
"Jed," she said as she took a few steps towards him.  
  
"Shut up, Abbey! Just shut up!"   
  
She stood still, shocked by his anger. She knew it was coming, but she was still a bit surprised by the rage that burned inside him.   
  
"What were you thinking?" he continued as he walked around her, her body stationary. "Were you thinking at all, Abigail? Or were you just so hot for Leo that you..."  
  
"It wasn't like that..."  
  
"The hell it wasn't!" he shouted so loud that she took a few steps backwards. "How many times?"  
  
After a slight pause, Abbey whispered, "twice."   
  
"Excuse me? I can't hear you."  
  
"It happened twice. I ended it two months ago."  
  
"I don't want all the gory details," Jed said, "but you will have to talk to the press."  
  
"What?" Abbey asked, shocked by his order.  
  
"You'll have to tell them why the President and First Lady are breaking the moral code of the Catholic Church, why we're setting a precedent no other sitting President and First Lady have ever come close to touching, why we're divorcing."  
  
His words stung Abbey to her core. She knew this was going to be hard, but in the end, she hoped she could still salvage her marriage. He wanted no part of it. Choosing to ignore the bigger issue for a second, she began to tell Jed her news.  
  
"I have something else I have to tell you."  
  
"There's nothing else I want to hear tonight," he said as he turned to walk out of the bedroom.  
  
"I'm pregnant," she blurted out.  
  
TBC 


	2. The Deal

Mistakes -- Chapter 2  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: Still reeling from finding out about his wife's betrayal, Jed is shocked by Abbey's admission that she's pregnant. He has to decide if he wants to throw his pregnant wife out of his life, or if he's willing to work with her for the sake of the baby.  
  
"You're pregnant?" he asked.  
  
"Yes. Six weeks. I just found out for sure."  
  
"Does Leo know?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Whose..." he started, not able to complete the sentence.  
  
"It's yours, Jed. I'm six weeks along. The last time Leo and I...it was eight weeks ago."  
  
He did believe her, but he had to be sure.  
  
"Well, once the baby is born, we'll have a blood test, just to make sure." Abbey silently stared at him. "Having an amnio while you're pregnant could harm the baby, right?"  
  
"Yeah," she said quietly.  
  
"Okay. Then we'll wait."  
  
He ran his hands through his hair, trying to piece everything together. In less than an hour, his entire life had changed.  
  
"Wait?" she asked.  
  
"Well, obviously, we can't go to the press right now."  
  
"That isn't why I told you."  
  
"I know. I'm just thinking of the disaster that's sure to follow any separation announcement right now. President throws pregnant wife out of bedroom. Not exactly my top choice for a headline. Then there will be the whole "who's the daddy" soap opera that's sure to result, and next thing you know, Wall Street will be too busy concentrating on betting pools than on the business of the international community. It'll be "who shot JR" all over again, but this time the stakes will be much higher."  
  
"What are you saying?" she asked, thinking he's getting way ahead of himself and probably not thinking logically anymore.  
  
"I'm thinking about the Administration, the Presidency. We've worked too hard, all of us...everything will get lost in scandal."  
  
"So we just pretend everything's okay for appearances?"  
  
"Yes, for now. Once the baby is born, then we'll quietly move forward, citing irreconcilable differences or something. We'll worry about it later."  
  
Abbey wasn't sure what more to say. He wanted to leave her, but couldn't because he was concerned about what the American public would say. He was more concerned about his constituents than he was interested in trying to reconcile with her. But could she blame him? She betrayed him in the worst way possible. She slept with another man. For two brief moments in time, her body belonged to someone else and she knew that the fact that her heart was always Jed's had very little meaning to him right now.  
  
"Jed, I'm not going to play a game with the press," she said, trying to walk away.  
  
Jed grabbed her arm, "yes, you will. If you have any hope of us ever being civil to one another again, you'll do this."  
  
It was emotional blackmail and they both knew it, but neither one cared. Jed was too angry to worry about it and Abbey just wanted his forgiveness. She would do anything for him to earn it.  
  
"So we just pretend until the baby is born -- another seven and a half months?"  
  
"Yes," he answered.  
  
"Okay," she said reluctantly.  
  
"Good. Now let's set some ground rules."  
  
"What?" she asked. He was mapping out their lives as if it was a political strategy session.   
  
"In order for this to work, you can't see Leo again, at all. Many people already know."  
  
"They don't know anything. They just suspect."  
  
"Abbey."  
  
"Fine."  
  
"We'll have to sleep in this room, we'll announce your pregnancy when the time is right, maybe later, we'll consult CJ..."  
  
He continued, making a list of what had to be done, never asking for her input. Then again, she had lost that right, she thought. This was all so ceremonial. There was no warmth in his voice. Just moments earlier, he had been yelling. Now everything was so matter-of-fact, like he was a robot or something, just screaming out orders. He didn't want to be around her. He felt he had to be -- and she knew it. But she was willing to go along. She already broke his heart. It was the least she could do now.  
  
TBC 


	3. Adjustment

Mistakes -- Part 3  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey/Leo is mentioned briefly  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: The first month of their deal (second month of Abbey's pregnancy) is all about adjustment for Jed and Abbey. They've entered a new phase in their lives and in their marriage -- a phase neither was ready for.  
  
Month two (of the pregnancy):  
  
It had been less than two weeks since their deal, but things were so awkward between the First Couple that both had thought about calling it off several times. In some ways, it would almost be easier to admit to the world that they were splitting up. But each time, they'd come to their senses -- Abbey, realizing that this is the way Jed wanted it and Jed, thinking this was so much easier than admitting to the world that his wife cheated on him with his Chief of Staff.  
  
And what about Leo? This was all affecting him too. In order to complete their charade, Leo had to stay put in his position at the White House. As difficult as it was, he agreed to do it, for Abbey. He knew he would never win back Jed's trust, and he wasn't even sure he cared anymore, but Abbey's health, especially during her pregnancy, was very important to him. Every day, Jed would get through the day with his senior staff, trying to avoid one-on-one interaction with Leo as much as possible.  
  
And then, it would be time to go home and face Abbey. Usually, he'd go to the Residence, put on some news, a sports event, or retire to his study to read. When it was time for bed, Abbey would already be asleep -- or so he thought. She hadn't slept much since this whole thing began, but she'd lay there, pretending to be asleep and watch out of the corner of her eye as he picked up his pillow and blanket and layed down on the couch in the bedroom.   
  
They hadn't shared a bed since he found out about the affair. They hadn't shared more than 12 words since the night they made their deal. It was the same story every night. Neither one made the first move -- in his case, it was because he couldn't even look at her without replaying the scene of her and Leo in his mind. In her case, it was because she was afraid of rejection. Being rejected by anyone is tough, but Abbey couldn't handle being rejected over and over again by the one man she had always loved, the one man she had hurt so deeply. So night after night, they lived in silence, only to be broken by one sentence on this night.  
  
"CJ set everything up for tomorrow," she said, surprising him.  
  
"I thought you were asleep," he replied from the sofa.   
  
She ignored him.  
  
"She was here prepping me this afternoon."  
  
"I know."  
  
"You're going to be there, right?"  
  
"Of course. I have to be."  
  
Abbey rolled over, pulling the covers over her face. Tomorrow was going to be difficult on both of them.  
  
The next morning, Jed and Abbey made an appearance at CJ's daily press briefing. CJ wanted them to make the announcement together, to prove there's no friction in the First Family. Jed and Abbey handed in Academy Award-winning performances. They walked into the press room, arm-in-arm, smiles on their faces, as Jed announced that Abbey would be overseeing a major healthcare plan designed to reduce the number of uninsured children around the country.   
  
Traditionally, the President wouldn't go to the trouble of a formal press conference for this, but the purpose of this announcement wasn't for the good of new legislation. It was to dispell the rumors that the First Couple was having trouble. Not one word was spoken about Abbey's pregnancy. Many women don't share the news until after their first trimester and the First Lady was no different. She believed in the same superstitions and took the same path she had taken with Liz, Ellie, and Zoey.   
  
When the press conference was over, they returned to the Residence, together. Jed led Abbey inside, changed his jacket, then left for the Oval Office without another word. Abbey checked her hair in the mirror, adjusted her suit, and took off for her office. She had become resigned to the fact that she and Jed only shared living quarters now. Two weeks of silence had taken its toll. She had so much to say to him. But he wouldn't even look at her, let alone listen. Every now and then, she tried to convince herself that it was for the best. She wanted so much to believe that Jed needed time and the silence would help him sort things out. Another part of her knew every day they spent not talking was another step closer to divorce.   
  
TBC 


	4. Letting go

Mistakes -- Part 4  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey and CJ  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: The First Couple continue to live as strangers, until old memories come crashing back. Can Jed really let go of Abbey after the baby is born?  
  
Month three:  
  
Three months into her pregnancy, Abbey began to see slight changes in her body. It was nothing major, just things only an expectant mother would notice. Her clothes began to fit a little tighter, her waist wasn't as defined as it once was, and she finally felt like she had a life inside her. She thought back to the day before when she had gone maternity clothes shopping with CJ. The afternoon had taken an emotional turn when Abbey couldn't answer all the questions that CJ had.  
  
"This one's really nice," CJ said, pointing out a wooden Victorian-style crib.  
  
"Yeah," was all Abbey said as she walked by, looking at the clothes.  
  
"I know that you want the perfect outfit right now, but pretty soon...I mean, come on, the White House isn't exactly furnished for an infant."  
  
"We'll deal with that when the time comes," Abbey replied, knowing that when the baby is born, she won't even be living in the White House any longer.  
  
"Why wait? Don't you want to just look around? I saw the most perfect..." CJ cut herself off when she saw tears begin to form in Abbey's eyes. "Abbey," she called. "Come on, let's go."   
  
CJ led her out of the store and sat her down on a bench nearby. She hadn't seen Abbey so upset in a long time. Then again, she was pregnant. Were these tears of a happy pregnant wife, or the tears of a First Lady in constant personal turmoil, she wondered.   
  
"I'm sorry, CJ."  
  
"No, it's okay." CJ continued, after a brief pause, "what's going on, Abbey?"  
  
Abbey told her everything. She confessed her relationship with Leo, something CJ already knew, but hadn't heard Abbey admit. She told CJ about her deal with Jed. She told her it was all in name only and that their marriage actually ended the day that Jed found out.  
  
"It's over," she said to an unbelieving CJ.  
  
"Just because he isn't speaking to you..."  
  
"Isn't speaking to me? No, CJ, that isn't it. If he just wasn't speaking to me, I could deal with it, I'd know he'd get over it. There's so much anger in him, so much hatred in his eyes."  
  
"The President could never hate you, Abbey."  
  
"His eyes...those beautiful blue eyes," Abbey began, looking off into the distance. "That's what I fell in love with first, you know. I couldn't escape those gorgeous eyes. They're so expressive. I can see all the love, the warmth inside him. Lately, I don't even recognize them anymore. They're filled with bitterness and they scare me."  
  
"Oh, Abbey. I'm sure that once some time has passed..."  
  
"Yeah," Abbey interrupted, not wanting to hear CJ continue her thought. "Look, let's get going, okay? I need to get back," she continued as she got up and walked away.  
  
Later that evening, Abbey began trying on the dresses she bought. She knew it was too early to need any of them, but she wanted to see them on her. She stood in front of the full-length mirror in the First Bedroom and played with her top, lifting it up to see if she could see her stomach getting bigger. What she didn't know was that Jed had entered the room moments earlier and was watching from a distance. The sight brought a smile to his face. He remembered the first time he had ever seen her do that.  
  
Flashback:  
  
Abbey was five months pregnant with Elizabeth. She had gained more weight than she expected and was very self-conscious of her figure. She used to spend hours just trying on clothes and wanting to hide her big belly. Jed didn't want her to hide it. He always knew she was gorgeous, but she looked even more radiant as a pregnant bride.   
  
"If this is five months, what's going to happen when I hit my ninth month?" she asked him as he layed in bed, reading.  
  
"I can't wait to find out."  
  
"Jed, please be serious. I'm not even going to fit on our bed anymore."  
  
"Then we'll get a new bed. We need one anyway."  
  
"Doesn't it bother you?"  
  
"That you're gaining weight? No, of course it doesn't. Abigail," he started as he climbed out of bed and headed towards her, "a pregnant woman is the most natural thing in the world. It isn't extra weight, it's a baby you have in there," he said, gently patting her belly. "And even if it wasn't, I don't care what happens to your body, I'll always know that I'm married to the most beautiful woman in the world."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Don't," he interrupted, putting his finger in front of her lips to silence her. "I love you and your big belly. I always will," he told her as he kissed her forehead, a thing he did when he wanted to express his love gently, not sexually. She loved when he kissed her there. It was always so sincere, like he was taking care of her. It used to send chills down her spine.  
  
Present day:  
  
Jed couldn't remember the last time he felt that close to her. It wasn't just since he found out about her affair with Leo. The turmoil began long before that. The distance had been part of their lives since he announced he was running for reelection. He always felt that she never really forgave him for that. He lived with it, but he secretly wished they could have it out once and for all, so they could move past it.   
  
As he looked at her touching her stomach in the mirror, he couldn't help but want to join in.  
  
"Can I feel?" he asked as he approached her.  
  
"You scared me. I didn't know you were there."  
  
"Can I touch?"   
  
Abbey nodded as Jed reached out his hand and slowly caressed her bare stomach.  
  
"It's not getting any bigger yet, you know," he teased.  
  
"To me it is."  
  
"Of course it is. And let me guess, you bought out the store this afternoon, thinking you're going to end up as big as a hippo, didn't you?"  
  
"Don't I always?"  
  
"This one's a boy, I'm sure of it!" he said enthusiastically.  
  
"You said that with Liz, Zoey, and Ellie too.'  
  
"Yeah, well, this time, I'm right. A father knows when he's about to have a son."  
  
They exchanged smiles for the first time in, what seemed like, ages. It was also the first time Jed had touched her since the whole Leo thing came out. It wasn't much, just a little pat on the belly, but it was better than nothing. It was enough to bring a tear to her eye.   
  
After that day, it became a nightly ritual -- Jed began touching her stomach, looking for any slight change. To her, it was cute. He'd come home from the office, she'd lay down on the bed and lift her shirt up just a few inches and he'd rub her, talk to the baby, and listen for any movement whatsoever. It was exactly what he had done with the girls. She was relieved that at least that part of their marriage wasn't completely destroyed by her mistake. But just like a bucket of cold water, when it came to going a step further, he'd pull away.  
  
While he was listening for the baby, Abbey put her hand on his head, just twirling his hair around her finger. He looked at her for a second before taking her hand in his to get it off his head. He put her hand down on the bed and got up and walked out of the room, claiming he had some reading to do. It drew Abbey out of the fantasy world and back into reality -- a reality that had her and Jed still at odds. He was still disgusted with her and she knew had it not been for the baby, the divorce would be in full swing right now.  
  
TBC 


	5. Regrets

Mistakes -- Part 5  
  
Characters: Jed/Leo/Abbey  
  
Rating: R (It does get a little graphic, but I don't think it's bad enough for NC-17)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: Month four of Abbey's pregnancy brings more trouble into the lives of Abbey and Jed. One particular problem is still around -- Leo -- and an argument between the two men drives Jed to lash out at Abbey (it gets ugly, but it's better towards the end).  
  
Month four:  
  
Jed sat at his desk, trying to get through the latest round of executive orders when Leo came in. Jed and Leo hadn't really had many one-on-one discussions since Jed found out about him and Abbey. Even before that, Leo felt Jed was pulling away, though he wasn't sure why.  
  
"Sir, I need to talk to you."  
  
"If I want to be ready for the senior staff meeting tomorrow morning, I have to finish this."  
  
"It's important. It's about Abbey," Leo continued, closing the door to the Oval Office.  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"She's very stressed. This deal the two of you made is really affecting her and her pregnancy, especially now that everyone knows she's expecting."  
  
"When the hell did you talk to Abbey?"   
  
"This afternoon."  
  
Jed slammed his fist on the desk.  
  
"Damn it! I told her...that because of the rumors, she shouldn't be talking to you!"  
  
"Don't blame Abbey for this! I went to see her. I was worried."  
  
Jed stepped back and looked at Leo. He knew that Leo cared about Abbey and, once upon a time, he knew that he didn't have any evil intentions. But was that still the case? Did Leo really just "talk" to Abbey, or had it been more than that?   
  
"I bet you were worried. You were worried about yourself. Not Abbey."  
  
Leo remained silent, knowing Jed just wanted to vent.  
  
"So did you make a move? Answer me, Leo. Did you touch my wife?"  
  
"No, Jed, I didn't." He rarely called him Jed, but he wanted his old friend to know that he was serious. He wouldn't stand there and let Jed tell him he had anything less than the purest of motivations when it came to Abbey. "And if I had, what would you say?"  
  
Now he was just asking for trouble.  
  
"You're about to cross a dangerous line, Leo."  
  
"You pretty much told her you were done with her, didn't you? Do you have any idea what that did to her? You want to stand there and be all high and mighty, fine, but don't you dare pretend it's because you give a damn about Abbey."  
  
"I love that woman."  
  
"Loved," Leo replied, enunciating the "ed" at the end. "If you still loved her, you wouldn't treat her this way."  
  
"What way? I think I've been pretty damn reasonable, all things considered."  
  
"You don't think she knows that you're only keeping her around to get your precious little boy? She knows that as soon as she gives birth..."  
  
"Leo!" Jed interrupted.  
  
"...as soon as she gives birth, you're going to kick her out like yesterday's trash."  
  
"I would never do that to Abbey."  
  
"You already have -- emotionally. That's what made her wander into my bed in the first place," Leo said as he turned and walked out, leaving Jed too shocked to reply.  
  
Jed put his papers into his bag and left for the residence. He realized that was the thing he had never asked Abbey -- why. Why would she cheat on him? Why did it have to be with Leo?  
  
He slammed the bedroom door, startling Abbey, who sat at her vanity, putting moisturizer on her face.  
  
"What's wrong with you?" she asked as she got up and walked over to the bed.  
  
"You spoke to Leo today?"  
  
Abbey sighed, "yes, but just for a minute."  
  
"What did you tell him?"  
  
"Why? Jed, where is this coming from?"  
  
"I just had a conversation with him."  
  
"Oh," she replied, knowing this couldn't be good.  
  
"Yeah. You know, Abbey, I never did ask you, why?" he said, his voice laced with anger.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Sure you do. You went to bed with him, you let him touch you, to feel you..."  
  
"Stop, please," she pleaded as she crawled into bed.  
  
"Was I not here enough? Were you feeling neglected in bed?"  
  
"You wanna know, Jed? Fine! Yes, I felt alone! I had felt that way for a very long time and the last thing you wanted to hear..."  
  
"Okay, stop!" He screamed at her.   
  
They stared at each other for a few moments before Jed ribbed the covers off the bed and climbed on top of Abbey. At first, she was surprised. Then, she realized what he was doing. He was trying to prove a point -- that he was not going to be outdone in the bedroom, certainly not by Leo. Whatever Leo had said to him had made Jed feel that he's the reason Abbey betrayed him and now, he was on a mission to dispell that myth.  
  
Jed kissed her, hard. He barely let her come up for air. He kept his lips on hers and repeatedly pushed down, trying to kiss her harder and harder as his hands began to wander. He unbuttoned her shirt and slipped it off. Abbey had waited so long to be close to him, but not like this. This wasn't the Jed she loved. Sure, she sometimes enjoyed rough sex, but this time, it was more than rough sex. He wasn't doing it out of love, he was doing this out of a need to prove Leo wrong. Now she wondered how long she should let him continue, part of her hoping he would stop himself before he hurt her.  
  
Once her shirt was off, Jed began fondling her breasts, every now and then taking his mouth away from her lips to devour her nipples. It wasn't that same tingly feeling Abbey usually got, it was more a feeling of disgust. She wanted to stop him, but she froze. Part of her was shocked at his behavior. He had never been like this before. The other part wondered how far would he go. Did he think she somehow owed him this after she slept with another man?   
  
Jed continued on his journey down her body, sliding his hand under the elastic in her pajama bottoms and taking them off, followed by her underwear. His mouth wandered down her stomach and onto her thighs. He separated her legs and that's when he snapped out of it. He realized she was shaking. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at her face. He saw her glassy eyes as tears began to fall.  
  
What was he doing? He hadn't even bothered to ask Abbey if this was what she wanted. They weren't ready for intimacy. He knew that. He had forgotten, momentarily, but he knew. Despite what Abbey thought, it wasn't just about Leo. When Abbey had betrayed him, she took his heart with her. By making love to her, he hoped to repair some of that damage. But on this night, he wasn't making love to her. He just wanted to have sex with her, something he could now see she clearly didn't want. Feeling terrible about how far things had gone, he rubbed his hands up and down her legs, kissed her knees gently, then pulled himself up next to her face.  
  
"You really should speak up when you don't want to do something," he said to her as he wiped the tears from her eyes.  
  
She just looked at him, not saying a word. Jed got out of bed and headed for the shower, leaving Abbey to pull the sheets to cover herself.  
  
When he got out of the shower, Abbey was already asleep. He watched her sleep as he rubbed his finger over her face. Such a beautiful, angelic face he thought. He loved her so much. How could he ever hurt her? It wasn't just this incident. He had been hurting her since he found out about her affair. He wasn't doing it on purpose, but he wasn't stopping himself either. Everytime he wanted to apologize to her for the insensitive things he was saying, he'd remember the betrayal and it would stop him dead in his tracks. He wanted to change the cycle, but he wasn't sure how.   
  
He picked up his pillow and headed to the sofa.  
  
The next morning, Jed sat on the edge of the bed, trying to wake Abbey up to talk to her before he left for the office.  
  
"Hi," she said when her eyes popped open.  
  
"Hi. I'm sorry to wake you, but I just wanted to talk for a minute."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"Listen, about last night..."  
  
"Let's not talk about it," she said quickly.  
  
"Did I hurt you?"  
  
"No. It was just a little uncomfortable. You stopped."  
  
"Why didn't you stop me sooner?"  
  
Abbey shrugged, "I don't know. I missed being close to you. I guess I felt like maybe you thought I owed you this, and that maybe afterwards, things would be closer to being okay again."  
  
Jed looked at her lovingly for the first time in months.  
  
"It doesn't work that way -- not with us. You don't owe me anything. You know that," he said as she nodded. "Tell me you know that."  
  
"I know that. I just didn't know what you were thinking."  
  
"I don't know either. It'll never happen again, okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
He kissed her stomach then got up and began to walk away, but there was one more thing he wanted to do. He turned back and walked over to the bed. He leaned down and gently kissed her forehead.  
  
TBC 


	6. Moving on

Mistakes -- Part 6  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: During Abbey's fifth month of pregnancy, Jed's coldness began to subside. He was realizing how much he still loved her, but old feelings stopped him from forgiving her.  
  
Month five:  
  
Jed hadn't been working as much lately. His entire outlook had changed. He began taking off a few hours in the middle of the day and he convinced Abbey to do the same so they could share their lunches together. He went with her to every one of ther doctor's appointments. Their future was definitely looking brighter.   
  
When Abbey caught a mild cold, Jed stayed by her side. He even took two days off work, moving essential meetings to the Residence so he could be down the hall from his wife. He spent those days fawning over her and the baby.   
  
"I don't need a babysitter, you know," she said at one point while laying in bed.  
  
"Yeah, well, you've got one, so enjoy it," he replied.  
  
"Jed, I'm really okay. You should go to work."  
  
"Abbey, you're carrying my baby and you're sick. I want to be here."  
  
"That's what this is really about, right? You're concerned about the baby?"  
  
Jed sat in silence. Of course he was concerned about the baby, but he was more worried about Abbey, though he couldn't admit that to her -- he wasn't ready. Abbey took his silence as the answer she feared. She turned her back to him and pretended to fall asleep.  
  
Once Abbey was feeling like her old self again, neither one of them mentioned that conversation. He never told her she was his main concern and she never admitted how hurt she was by the discussion. Instead, they moved on. She'd come home from her office and some nights, he'd already be there, ready to have dinner. After one such night, they retired to the bedroom. Sensing Abbey was stressed out from work, Jed offered to rub her back. He sat behind her on the bed and began massaging her shoulders. She groaned with pleasure. He extended his hands down her back, reminding her of a night during her second pregnancy with Ellie.  
  
Flashback:  
  
Abbey had doubled-up on her courseload at med school to make up for the semester she'd have to take off to give birth to Ellie. Jed had cut back on the classes he was teaching so he could watch Liz and take care of the house while Abbey was off studying. It was an arrangement that worked out for them, despite the fact that they rarely saw each other.  
  
Abbey had come home late. As soon as Jed saw her pull up, he put Liz in her play pen so he could give Abbey his undivided attention. He greeted her with a kiss as she opened the door.   
  
"How's Lizzy?" she asked as she headed to the play pen. She bent down, giving Liz a kiss.  
  
"She misses her mommy."  
  
"Her mommy misses her too," she replied as she walked over to the couch, flinging her jacket over the arm, then headed upstairs to change her clothes. Jed followed.  
  
"I've been thinking. Maybe you should cut back on your classes. Drop a few of them, just for now."  
  
Abbey stopped walking and turned around to face her husband. "We've been through this, Jed."  
  
"I know, but look at yourself. You're tired, you're cranky, I know you haven't been sleeping."  
  
"I haven't been sleeping because I have midterms next week."  
  
"it can't be good for you, or for the baby."  
  
"I'm not going to hurt our baby," she shot back sternly.  
  
"That isn't what I meant, Abbey, and you know it. I'm just concerned."  
  
She continued walking to their bedroom, unbuttoning her shirt along the way.   
  
"I'm fine. I just want to get through med school. The sooner the better."  
  
"What's the rush? Look, you're going to be a fantastic doctor. I don't want you to kill yourself getting there."  
  
"Did you call Liz's pediatrician?" she asked, changing the subject.  
  
Jed rubbed his forehead, remembering the one thing she had asked him to do.  
  
"No, I forgot. I'm sorry."  
  
"Damn it, Jed!" she exploded, "I told you how important it was to ask him before changing the dose of her antibiotic! Now what am I supposed to do?"  
  
"I said I was sorry. You're not the only one getting ready for midterms. I had to teach four classes, pick up Liz from the sitter, go grocery shopping..."  
  
"Nothing is more important than Lizzie."  
  
"I never said otherwise," he said as he turned to walk away. Abbey grabbed his arm to stop him.  
  
"I'm sorry. I know you're working so hard. I didn't mean to blow up at you." She looked at him for a second, then continued, "drop a class or two, huh?"  
  
"You can pick it back up after the baby is born."  
  
She nodded as he walked her downstairs, promising her a back rub on the couch, where they could play with Liz before dinner.  
  
Present day:  
  
He still knew how to give the world's best back rubs. She pulled away slightly, only to turn towards him and give him a kiss on the lips. He was pleasantly surprised by this. He couldn't deny what was happening. He wanted to be angry with her. He had every right to still be angry with her. She cheated on him. But deep down, he knew he still loved her.   
  
Realizing she got no resistance, Abbey moved her lips closer to his and began kissing him again. He returned the kisses and put his hand behind her head to draw her face closer. This went on for only a few minutes before Jed remembered. The images of Leo doing the same thing to his wife flashed before his eyes. As Abbey's lips moved to his neck, he imagined her mouth on Leo's body, moving down towards his manhood. He physically pushed her away.  
  
"I can't," he said, as he stood up.  
  
"Okay," she replied with sadness in her eyes.  
  
"Abbey, it's just too soon."  
  
"I said okay," she repeated, pulling the covers up and crawling underneath.  
  
Jed made his way to the couch, turning out the light and lying down.  
  
"I think I'm going to start looking for divorce lawyers tomorrow," he told her.  
  
Abbey was frozen. She knew that part of him still wanted a divorce, but every now and then, she'd forget -- she'd allow herself to forget. All she wanted was to remember how things used to be. "Won't the press catch on?"   
  
"No, I'll keep it quiet, under another name. Josh is going to help me."  
  
"You already spoke to Josh?" she asked as she sat up in bed.  
  
"Yes, today," he replied sitting up to meet her gaze.  
  
She was speechless. She thought they were moving forward, that they at least had a chance at reconcilliation. All the while, he was planning the end of their marriage.  
  
"It's still all about the baby. That's the only reason we're still speaking, isn't it?"  
  
Jed ignored her.   
  
"We'll work something out -- something we can both agree to," he started. "Both financially and custodial."  
  
"Custodial?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah. We'll figure out some kind of custody plan for the baby, visitation, the whole nine yards."  
  
They both layed back in their respective beds. After several minutes of silence, Abbey couldn't keep quiet any longer.  
  
"Jed?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You're not taking my child away from me," she said calmly.  
  
They both stared at the ceiling, reflecting on what their marriage had become.  
  
TBC 


	7. The good and the bad

Mistakes -- Part 7-A  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey/Leo  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: It's time to officially find out the sex of the baby! The news brings Jed and Abbey closer, but an unexpected visitor drives another wedge between them and Abbey's finally had enough.  
  
Month six:  
  
Things had been tense in the Residence ever since the conversation about divorce had been resurrected, especially now that Jed had dropped the "c" word -- custody. He knew she was serious. She would give him one hell of a fight for that child. She loved Jed with all her heart, but no one would get between Abbey and her children. He knew that all along and truth be told, he didn't have any intention of taking the baby away from Abbey. He wouldn't hurt her like that, no matter what. He didn't even know why he said it. Perhaps it was to remind himself how angry he still was. He needed the reminder because he felt himself melting under her spell just like he did when they first met.  
  
Jed went back to working late and Abbey went back to pretending to be asleep when he finally came home. Not talking seemed like the most obvious solution. Every discussion brought more pain, for both of them.  
  
But on this cool September morning, they had to talk. They were going to find out the sex of their baby -- together. The excitement of the day was drowned out by the tension between the First Couple, until the news came.  
  
"Are you sure you want to know?" Dr. Johnson asked.  
  
"Yes, of course we do. We've been dying to know for months."  
  
"She's been dying to know. I've known all along. It's a boy," Jed said.  
  
"You sure you don't want to amend that just a bit?" the doctor said.  
  
"Should he?" Abbey jumped in.  
  
The doctor nodded.  
  
"Tell your girls to get ready for a baby sister."  
  
Abbey looked at Jed, expecting disappointment. She was surprised at what she saw instead.   
  
Jed bolted out of his chair, "it's a girl?" he asked, just to be sure. When the doctor nodded, he ran over to Abbey's chair, kneeling in front of her and rubbing her stomach, "Four girls. We have another daughter!"  
  
"I'm sorry. I know you wanted..." she started.  
  
"I wanted whatever we got. Abbey, I thought I knew it was a boy, but now, I can't imagine my life without another little girl in it," he told her with tears in his eyes. "As long as she has ten fingers and ten toes, I'm the happiest man in the world."  
  
His genuine excitement made her cry. This was the man she had fallen in love with. She hadn't recognized him in so long, but this is who really was. With all the anger and the hurt shielded behind the joy he felt on this day, she knew that despite her doubts, there was hope for them.  
  
That night, the First Couple continued their celebration as they contemplated welcoming their healthy baby girl into their lives. Abbey sat at the dining room table, reading over a book of baby names.  
  
"Tiffany?"  
  
"Look me in the eye and tell me I look like a man who would name his kid Tiffany."  
  
"It's a perfectly lovely name."  
  
"Yes, yes, it is. Not for my daughter."  
  
"Paige...that's such beautiful name."  
  
"She'll grow up to be one of those soap opera characters," he replied. "I want something different, something classic, something beautiful."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
He paused for a moment, went over to her, bent down, and pulled her reading glasses off her face. "Like Abigail," he said with a warm smile.  
  
She returned his smile, "I don't think so."  
  
He got up and walked across the room. "You know I've got to go to this fundraiser tomorrow," he reminded her.  
  
"I know."  
  
Jed hated these things. He knew they were necessary, but travelling around the country, making appearances to benefit other democrats, while charging people a thousand dollars a plate and another two thousand for a picture with the President seemed -- wrong. Necessary, but wrong.   
  
This trip was for Congressman Jack Stinger, a representative running for reelection in a conservative district in Indiana. A highlight for Jed was getting to see an old classmate -- Jamie Sheldon. Jamie and Jed were friends throughout high school and both had graduated from Notre Dame with their undergraduate degrees. They hadn't seen each other since he moved on to the London School of Economics, but they kept in touch sporadically.  
  
Earlier that day, Jed talked to Josh about checking on Abbey periodically throughout the day when he was gone. Her staff at her office was given instructions to call Josh should something go wrong, but Josh's interference gave Jed extra comfort. Jed's mind was at ease this time, trusting that neither Abbey nor Leo would contact one another. But that isn't exactly how it worked out.   
  
Abbey was in the kitchen, making herself a snack while she waited for Jed to to finish his shower. When she turned around to leave, she was surprised that Leo was standing in front her. Startled, Abbey walked around him and set her plate on the table.   
  
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to drop off these papers for the President. He needs to look them over on the plane."  
  
"Surely you could have given them to CJ. She's going with him to Indiana," Abbey said.  
  
"CJ already left for the day."  
  
Leo put the papers on the table and turned to walk away. "Take care of yourself."  
  
"Leo?"   
  
Her voice stopped him. "Yeah?"  
  
"I'm sorry about all this."  
  
She felt she had to apologize because this wasn't all Leo's fault. She reached out to him too. She wanted to be with him those two nights. He lost the respect of his employees, his colleagues, and the admiration of his best friend in the process.  
  
"You didn't do this, Abbey."  
  
"I played a large part in it. God, Leo, he asked me. That first night, he asked me what I was thinking and you know, I couldn't answer him. I still haven't told him why, like there would ever be a good enough reason to cheat on him."  
  
"Abbey, I don't think I'm the best person to be discussing this with you."  
  
"Of course," she said, reality smacking her in the face. "You're right. I'm sorry."  
  
"Stop apologizing. You have no reason to apologize to me..."  
  
He approached her, putting his finger under her chin to raise her head and look into her eyes.   
  
"...ever," he finished.  
  
Jed walked in just as Leo raised Abbey's head up. He looked at them for only a minute before he exploded, rushing over to Leo, yelling at him to get out of the Residence. Abbey stepped in between the two, trying to stop Jed.   
  
"I invited him!" she blurted out to a shocked Jed.  
  
"That isn't true," Leo insisted. "Abbey, knock it off."  
  
Abbey looked at Leo, trying to get him to let her take the blame. No matter how angry Jed was, he at least watched his temper with Abbey, a cushion Leo didn't have any longer.  
  
"Jed..." Abbey started.  
  
"Stop it, both of you! Leo, I want you to leave right now."  
  
Leo turned to Abbey. The two exchanged glances before he turned to walk out. Once the door closed, Jed grabbed Abbey's arm, turning her to face him.  
  
"Jed."  
  
"You lied to me! Once again, you lied!"  
  
"I was scared of your temper and what you'd do to him."  
  
"So you were just protecting your boyfriend?"  
  
"I'm finished," she said with disgust in her voice as she crossed the room.  
  
"Finished?"  
  
"That's right, finished! I'm done apologizing for what I did. You've been punishing me for months and you know what, Jackass, it's time you just get the hell over it!"   
  
As soon as the words left her mouth, she wanted to take them back. He should get over it? How would a man like Jed Bartlet get over the fact that his wife betrayed every vow she had taken on their wedding day? Just the mere suggestion was like another knife in his back.  
  
Jed left the room, picked up his luggage and left. He wasn't leaving for Indiana until early the next morning. Tonight, he was sleeping in a guest bedroom.   
  
TBC 


	8. Getting even

Mistakes -- Part 7-B  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey and Josh  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: Jed leaves for Indiana and when he returns, he's the one who has some explaining to do!  
  
Month six continued:  
  
The next morning, Jed opened the bedroom door to check on Abbey before he left. Abbey's eyes were closed. He left quietly, trying not to disturb her. When she knew he was gone, Abbey opened her eyes. She hadn't really slept the night before, but the last thing she wanted was another confrontation.  
  
That day, Abbey sat in her office, trying to get her mind off Jed and how they had left things. She was lost in thought when she glanced at the television and caught a news promo about the President's visit to Indiana. On his arm was Jamie Sheldon. When she saw Jed lean in and give her a small kiss on the lips, Abbey turned off the TV and walked out of her office, headed to the West Wing.   
  
"Was it a publicity stunt?" she asked, walking into Josh's office as Donna tried to stop her.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Josh replied as he dismissed Donna.  
  
"My husband. The press is already showing pictures of him with another woman. So tell me, does it start now?"  
  
"Mrs. Bartlet..."  
  
"Josh, I'm not interested in excuses. Jamie is an old classmate of Jed's. I knew he'd be seeing her. I didn't know she'd be campaigning with him."  
  
"She works at a political consulting firm in Indianapolis. Surely, the President mentioned that she'd be out there, helping."  
  
"Helping? It's a luncheon, Josh. I don't see why it's necessary that he kiss her."  
  
"Wait. He...he kissed her?"  
  
"On the lips."  
  
"That can't be right. CJ would have done something."  
  
"It was a little peck, but what is it they say...a kiss is still a kiss. Feel free to catch the instant replay on any of the cable news channels," she said walking out of his office.  
  
There had to be a mistake, Josh thought. How could the President ever kiss anyone other than his wife, knowing the press was watching his every move? There was a Press Secretary there, for God's sake. How could this be possible?  
  
"Donna!" he screamed. "Get me CJ on the phone, now!"  
  
CJ explained to Josh that the kiss was no big deal. It may have been poor judgement on the President's part, but it was pretty easy to explain to the press -- just two old friends, seeing each other for the first time in years. Josh understood, but Abbey knew better. It did look innocent, but it wasn't. Jed was using the press to send her a message. Now she had to decide how to handle it.  
  
Jed came home late that night. He immediately went into the bedroom to find Abbey. Abbey was getting ready for bed, rubbing lotion on her hands and clearing off the bed.   
  
"I figured you'd be sleeping in another room tonight," she said when he opened the door.  
  
"I can if you want me to."  
  
"I don't care what you do."  
  
"I was hoping we could talk," he told her.  
  
"I don't think so. I'm tired. Aren't you?"  
  
"Not really, no."  
  
"It's the adrenaline. That kiss must have been a real rush for you," she said sarcastically.  
  
"You saw."  
  
"Damn right I did. It's what you wanted, right? Oh Josh and CJ are convinced it was no big deal. You and I know better, don't we?"  
  
"Abbey."  
  
"When did you decide that you were going to humiliate me so publicly?"  
  
"That's not why I did it."  
  
"That's not why you did it? Please, Jed, don't take me for a fool. You're seen making a campaign stop with that tramp, kissing her on national television, then three months later, you announce that you and I are getting a divorce. You set your agenda today and the whole world saw it."  
  
"A, I would never announce that I'm divorcing you without you sitting right there next to me..."  
  
"Is that supposed to be some kind of comfort?"  
  
"B, no, the kiss wasn't perfectly innocent and yes, part of me did hope you would see it. I wanted you to know how it feels." He crossed over to where she was standing, "And C, you lost the right to call any other woman a tramp the second you spread your legs for Leo McGarry."  
  
He realized he had gone too far before the words even left his lips. When he looked up, there was hurt in her eyes. She remained silent for a few seconds, then made a dash for the door, opening it, ready to leave. He ran up behind her, closing the door before she had a chance to get away.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "I didn't mean that."  
  
"Yes, you did."  
  
"No, I really didn't."   
  
He let go of the door and backed away from her. Abbey turned to face him. "Now what?"  
  
"Come here," he told her, holding his arms wide open. She hesitated for a moment. They hadn't really hugged since before she told him about Leo. She walked into his arms slowly. He wrapped them around her as she let out a small gasp. It felt so good. He hadn't held her in so long. Neither one of them wanted it to end.  
  
"I used Jamie to get to you, you were right. Jamie is happily married with two kids and even if she wasn't, she's not my type."  
  
"Why not?" Abbey asked, remembering that Jed had a crush on Jamie before he met Abbey.  
  
"Because she's not you," he said as he lowered his lips and kissed the top of her head.  
  
He led her to the bed and layed her down. Then he did something else she didn't expect. He crawled in next to her and continued holding her. It was the first time he spent the night in the same bed as his wife since all this began.  
  
TBC 


	9. Reconnecting

Mistakes -- Part 8-A  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: The seventh month of Abbey's pregnancy is spent with her and Jed finally saying the things they had kept to themselves for so long. Things seem to be back on track, until they get some unexpected news.  
  
Month seven:  
  
Jed kneeled down in front of Abbey as she sat on the couch. He loved talking to her belly, convinced the baby could hear every word. He'd read her liberal op eds, hoping to inspire her interest in politics before she was even born.  
  
"This kid's going to be President, trust me."  
  
"That's what you said about Elizabeth."  
  
"This time, I'll see to it. I've learned my lesson. My daughters don't get to make their own decisions anymore. They obviously can't be trusted," he said with a grin.  
  
"This kid doesn't have a name yet."  
  
"Yeah, I know. We'll get to that."   
  
He climed up on the couch, holding Abbey close, cradling her in his arms.  
  
"Right now, though, I want to work on Mommy."  
  
Abbey giggled, playfully pushing him away. They hadn't made love in so long and though they both wanted to, they knew they had to talk first. There was so much they needed to say. But not now. Not like this. Jed wanted to rebuild their entire relationship, from start to finish. He took Abbey's hands and invited her on a "date." He wanted to do it right -- the courtship, the getting-to-know-you phase, everything.  
  
Abbey, of course, accepted the invitation. She, too, had wanted so desperately to put all the drama behind them. She wanted to start over with a clean slate. No mistakes getting in the way, no lies. She promised herself, and Jed, that she would never lie to him again. Now she just had to prove it.  
  
The next night, Abbey arrived in the dining room to find the candlelight dinner Jed had the staff prepare. Soft music played in the background as he poured her a glass of sparkling apple juice.   
  
"This is too much," she said.  
  
"Nothing's ever too much for you," he reminded her as he took her hand and led her to the center of the room to dance. They didn't really dance much, but he just held her close and she was happy. She was back in his arms for good -- something she thought would never happen again.  
  
"Jed, tonight's about honesty, right? About getting everything out on the table?" She waited for Jed to nod before she continued. "Then I think I should tell you why I did what I did, why I slept with Leo."  
  
"Shhh," he began, putting his finger on her lips. "We don't have to talk about that."  
  
"I think we do. I don't want it to ever come up again."  
  
Abbey told him what she had been going through ever since they got to the White House. At first, it was great, but then they began drifting apart. He began making decisions without her, like running for reelction. That was the big one. That decision affected her too and though he told her he wouldn't run again, he walked out in front of glaring lights and television cameras and told the world that he would. Finding out about that on the news shook the foundation of their marriage -- at least, as far as Abbey was concerned. They never really recovered from that in her mind. His too. He always felt she never really forgave him. But it wasn't that. It's that she lost trust in him, in the fact that he would put his family first.   
  
She lost her medical license because of her decision to help him conceal his MS. Secretly, she felt a little bit of resentment towards him. After all, she had wanted to be honest about it. She wanted to tell people and take their chances on the election. He knew if it came out, he wouldn't win the Democratic nomination, let alone the Presidency. He convinced her how important it was to keep quiet.  
  
Then there was the decision to kill a foreign leader. Abbey knew she didn't have a say in policy, but she wished that Jed had at least come to her with his doubts, not just professionally, but spiritually, morally. Once she found out, it all made sense. She understood why Jed spent so many sleepless nights, so many quiet hours just staring off into space. The guilt was eating him up and he never turned to her. She had to hear about it on TV when Zoey was kidnapped. She left him after that. She took Zoey and went to Manchester for weeks.   
  
Her absence hurt Jed. One could argue that was the turning point in their marriage. Up until then, he thought the only thing that would make Abbey leave him was another woman. She thought the same. She never imagined that she would lose trust in him as a parent. He loved his girls just as much s she did, but she blamed him for Zoey's abduction and that killed Jed.   
  
He would rather die than see any of his kids hurt. When the possible connection between Zoey's ordeal and Shareef's assisination was discovered, Jed kept telling himself it was bogus. He couldn't bring himself to face the possibility that he may have been responsible for doing this to his daughter. More importantly, he couldn't face Zoey's mother, his wife, and see the blame in her eyes. His worst fear came true, eventually, when Abbey found out. He could deny his involvement for eternity, but if Abbey didn't believe it, neither would he.  
  
When Abbey returned from Manchester, they never really talked about it. They just continued to disconnect. It led her into Leo's arms, not out of revenge, but out of hurt. Abbey felt safe with Leo. He made her forget the pain she was feeling from her marriage. It was a momentary lapse in judgement and she promised Jed it would never happen again -- with anyone. He believed her.  
  
"Do you remember a few months ago when you told me to speak up when I don't want to do something?" she asked as he stopped and pulled her away from him by her shoulders to look into her eyes.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I don't think I've ever actually said this. I just assumed you knew."  
  
"Knew what?"  
  
"I don't want to get divorced," she said.  
  
He held her in his arms again and continued to sway.  
  
Their date ended quickly when Abbey began to feel ill. She had been having cramps for months now, but she assumed it was just part of the pregnancy. Jed wasn't convinced. Abbey fell to the floor in pain. She was bleeding. Jed screamed for someone to call an ambulance as he cradled Abbey in his arms.  
  
The Secret Service made a sweep of the hospital before allowing Jed in to be with his wife. By the time he got to her bedside, they were ready to move her for some tests. Jed was left waiting for answers. Hours later, Abbey's doctor came out to tell Jed he could go see her. When he opened the door, he saw the horror on her face. His first assumption was that they lost the baby. All he wanted to do is comfort her.  
  
"Oh, Abbey. Sweetheart, I'm right here," he said, rushing to be by her side.  
  
"It's going to be okay," she reassured him.  
  
"I know we both really wanted this baby..."  
  
"We still do. Jed, there's nothing wrong with our baby."  
  
"There isn't?"  
  
"No. Our little girl is fine."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
She thought about not telling him. It would be much more difficult if he knew. But how could she lie to him when just hours earlier she promised him she never would again?  
  
"They don't know what's wrong. But they're trying to find out," she said looking away.  
  
TBC 


	10. Shockers

Mistakes -- Part 8-B  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: The seventh month of Abbey's pregnancy is spent with her and Jed finally saying the things they had kept to themselves for so long. Things seem to be back on track, until they get some unexpected news.  
  
Month seven continued:  
  
Jed braced himself for what Abbey was about to say, knowing it was pretty serious.  
  
"Abbey, whatever it is, you can tell me."  
  
"We don't know what it is. What it might be is endometrial cancer. The doctor found some abnormalities."  
  
Jed sat on the edge of Abbey's bed, floored by what she just told him. "So what do we do?"  
  
"We wait. After the baby's born, I'll undergo a biopsy, possibly surgery, and that'll be that."  
  
She said it so matter-of-fact, no emtion in her voice.  
  
"Can't we do that now?" he asked her.  
  
"No. It'll hurt the baby."  
  
What Abbey purposely left out was that her doctor, convinced this actually is cancer, wants her to consider inducing labor. The sooner the baby is born, the better her chances of survival. Abbey had already made her decision. She wasn't going to endanger the health of her daughter by bringing her into the world early. What she didn't know is that Jed was told about the missing link after their conversation. He kept it to himself to avoid giving Abbey anything more to worry about. He didn't bring it up until they were back home, two days later.  
  
"How long does a baby have to be in the womb to have a fighting chance?" he asked her as he tucked her into bed.  
  
She stared at him for a moment, surprised by his question.  
  
"I'm just saying," he continued, "you only have seven weeks left before she's born, right?"  
  
"Where is this coming from?" she asked.  
  
"After you told me, I spoke to the doctor," he said as he sat on the bed. "I know the options, Abbey."  
  
"What ever happened to patient privacy? I could swear we have new laws in this country."  
  
"Yeah, well, I guess she thought you wouldn't keep something like this from me," he snapped.  
  
"I didn't keep it from you on purpose. The decision's already been made. This baby will be born on her own schedule."  
  
Jed looked at her face and knew she was serious. Once Abbey made up her mind about something, she rarely changed it.  
  
"So I don't have a say?"  
  
"Not in this. It's my body, my choice," she replied.   
  
"Abbey, I think we should consider..."  
  
"We're going to be risking her life, Jed. Seven weeks is a long time and in that time, this baby will grow and become healthy enough to survive out in the world. I'm not going to take that away from her."  
  
"What about you?"  
  
"We'll deal with that afterwards."  
  
"Abbey..."  
  
"This isn't up for debate!" she shouted, losing her cool. She took a moment to regain her composure before continuing, "I'm not risking my daughter's life for mine. For God's sake, Jed, where would we be right now if I hadn't gotten pregnant?"  
  
Jed thought about her question, knowing where she was going with this.  
  
"We would have been divorced by now," she continued.  
  
"Is that why you're doing this? Are you afraid I'm going to leave you if you're no longer pregnant? Because if that's it, Sweetheart, I promise you...  
  
Abbey sighed, frustrated by his refusal to understand.  
  
"Jed, that isn't it. What I'm saying is that this baby came into our lives when we needed her most. I'm not going to risk losing her now."  
  
Jed was speechless. What more could he say to change her mind? It was her body. He took her left hand in his, looking into her eyes to show his support. Abbey smiled warmly and put her right hand on his cheek, hopeful that he understood why she was doing this.  
  
They both sat there, thinking back to Abbey's last pregnancy.  
  
Flashback:  
  
Abbey was in her seventh month of pregnancy with Zoey and things weren't going well. Her doctor was concerned about her high blood pressure, her stress level, and her overall health. Abbey was ordered to bed rest until the baby was born.  
  
The day Jed brought her home from the hospital after she collapsed, Abbey was scared.  
  
"I don't know if I can stay in this bed for two months," she said.  
  
"It'll be okay. I'll bring you puzzles and books, I'll move the VCR in and you'll have an endless supply of movies," he replied, trying to make her feel better.  
  
"What about Liz and Ellie?"  
  
"I'll take care of them. You don't need to worry. I'll take care of everything."  
  
He kissed her on the cheek and began to leave when she grabbed his hand.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Jed," she choked out with tears in her eyes. He sat down on the bed and wiped her tears away.  
  
"Sweetheart, this isn't your fault."  
  
"Yes, it is. I was doing too much, just like you warned me. I didn't listen and now our baby..." her tears caused her to trail off.  
  
"Listen to me, Abigail, she's fine. This little girl is going to be so healthy and so cherished. Nothing you did is going to stop you from giving birth to a beautiful baby who's every bit as gorgeous as her mother. I don't want to hear another word about this, okay?"  
  
"I love you," was all she could get out after his remarks.  
  
"Now if you want to talk about not naming her Zoey, I'm up for that..."  
  
"Jed," she said with a smile.  
  
"It's such a weird name."  
  
"I like it."  
  
"Okay," he said as he kissed her cheek before he turned to leave. "I love you too."  
  
Present day:  
  
Jed kissed Abbey's cheek before leaving the room. This time, he may have felt it, but he didn't turn around to tell her that he loved her.  
  
TBC 


	11. By her side

Mistakes -- Part 9  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey/Leo  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: Abbey's illness gets worse during her eight month and Jed is left to wonder if he can go on without her.  
  
Month eight:  
  
Abbey had spent the rest of her seventh month in bed. She was always feeling sick, could barely keep any food down, and her fatigue kept her off her feet. It was difficult to differentiate between the symptoms from the pregnancy and the symptoms from her illness. The doctors hadn't ruled out cancer yet, but to her, it didn't matter. Determined to protect her daughter, she wouldn't agree to treatment until after the baby was born anyway.   
  
"What do you think of Victoria?" she asked Jed as he entered the room. He often came home in between meetings just to check on her and see, with his own eyes, that she was okay.  
  
"That's not bad, but I can't really see us calling her that."  
  
"Why not?" she asked.   
  
"I just can't."  
  
"You haven't liked a single one of my suggestions so far."  
  
"It's her name. She's going to have to live with it for the rest of her life."  
  
"What about Miranda?" she screamed to him as he washed his hands in the bathroom.  
  
Jed thought about it, then came out of the bathroom and looked at his wife. "I like it."   
  
He returned to the bathroom.  
  
"Really?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah, really. How did you come up with it? Is it in the book of names?"  
  
"No. It was on one of those soap operas you love to make fun of," she said with a grin.   
  
"We won't tell her that. Her name came from some epic movie where the heroine fights all the battles and wins all the wars. She emerges at the end, victorious in her fight to rid the world of evil-doers."  
  
"And when she wants to buy the DVD..."  
  
"We'll tell her they didn't have them back then," he shouted from the bathroom.  
  
"It's 2004," she said emphatically.  
  
"By the time she's old enough to actually be interested in watching it, you don't think she'll believe she was born in the second Ice Age? Hell, we may even be able to convince her we didn't have electricity and running water until 2005."  
  
"Jed!" Abbey screamed, cutting their banter short.   
  
Jed ran to the bed and found Abbey curled up, holding her stomach. Jed called for help as he tried to pick Abbey up and take her to the hospital.   
  
Hours after they arrived at the hospital, Abbey's doctor finally approached Jed who had been pacing in the waiting room. Leo sat in a chair across the room, his face striken with worry. When the doctor came in, both men ran over to her.  
  
"How is she?" Jed asked.  
  
"Not good. She was in a lot of pain. Right now, she's unconcious."  
  
"Oh god," Leo said.  
  
"She's been losing blood for weeks and she's anemic. I really don't think we can wait any longer. I need to get the baby out and get in there to take a look at her uterus."  
  
"Do it," Jed blurted out.  
  
"Sir, Abbey was against this," Leo reminded him.  
  
"She's unconcious, Leo. She's only got another month left anyway. Doctor, did you speak to her before..."  
  
"No, she was drifting in and out and she was in too much pain."  
  
"Then do it," he repeated.  
  
The doctor told him he'd need to sign the consent forms. Jed agreed, though he had doubts about what Abbey would want. If this baby died because of what Jed was consenting to, would Abbey ever forgive him, he wondered.   
  
He wanted to see her, but he couldn't. Abbey was going to be in surgery for a long time. All that he could do was wait and worry. Having Leo around would ordinarily be uncomfortable, but for some reason, on this night, having his old friend sit with him was comforting.  
  
"You were right, you know," he said as he joined Leo on the couch.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"I treated her so badly. I was punishing her because I was angry."  
  
"Sir, now's not the time to think about that."  
  
"When is the time, Leo?" He continued after a pause. "When I first found out, I was cruel to her. I was downright cruel. She reached out so many times and I pushed her away, making her feel like the only reason I kept her around was for the baby."  
  
"Wasn't it?" Leo asked.  
  
Jed looked at him, shocked that he could ask such a thing. "No. I wanted to forgive her. I wanted to so badly. I just couldn't bring myself to. And now..." he trailed off.  
  
Leo put his hand on Jed's back, reaching out to him for the first time since his affair with Abbey.  
  
"Jed, she's going to be okay."  
  
"You know when I was diagnosed with MS," he began, "she stayed up all night with me that first night. I was scared, but I wouldn't admit it. I didn't have to admit it to Abbey. She knew. She sacrificed so much to take care of me, she went against everything she believed as a doctor. She broke every ethical rule in the book. She took such good care of me."  
  
"And now, you'll do the same for her."  
  
"No, it isn't the same. Abbey never, ever let me down," Jed replied.  
  
Jed began sobbing. Leo had never seen him so miserable. He didn't hold back any of his emotions, not when it came to Abbey.   
  
"If I lose her..." he began before Leo cut him off by wrapping his arms around him. Jed didn't pull away. Instead, he hugged him back.   
  
TBC 


	12. Unexpected

Mistakes -- Part 10  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: The baby is finally here and Jed and Abbey have one more obstacle to overcome.   
  
Miranda's birth:  
  
Liz, Ellie, and Zoey arrived at the hospital and joined their father in the waiting game. It seemed like an eternity before the doctor finally came back out to tell Jed that mother and daughter were both doing fine. Abbey did have cancerous tumors on the lining of her uterus, so the doctor recommended a hysterectomy, something Abbey agreed to once she woke up. There would be more follow-ups, more tests, but for now, the hysterectomy got the cancer out of her body. Jed stood by Abbey's bedside and promised her that no matter what happens between them, he would take care of her. After everything she did for him and his MS, he swore he'd never abandon her in her time of need.  
  
The baby -- Miranda Jane -- was a perfectly healthy infant. She may have been born a month early, but it didn't pose any risk to her whatsoever. When Jed first saw her, he thought she was absolutely perfect. When he looked closer, he realized little Miranda was born with a birthmark on the back of her neck. It was an unusual shape -- almost like two triangles intertwined. Jed noticed it, but kept quiet. Bringing it up with Abbey now would only upset her.  
  
All the West Wing staffers were invited to Abbey's homecoming party. Jed went all out even though Abbey told him she didn't want a big hoopla.   
  
Later that night, Jed showed Abbey Miranda's new room. He had it decorated during the weeks that she was recovering in the hospital. He had bought the big Victorian crib that Abbey had seen when she was shopping with CJ months earlier. Abbey looked at Jed and knew, in her heart, that he had finally forgiven her. But had he? For Jed, it wasn't that simple, especially now. He hadn't told Abbey about the birthmark on Miranda's neck. The fact that it was there gave him doubts. Was Abbey truthful about when Miranda was conceived? Was she truthful about when she stopped seeing Leo? Too many questions lingered in his mind. He hadn't called off the divorce yet and wasn't sure he was going to. But he never mentioned that to Abbey.  
  
It was only two days later that Abbey barged into his office, pushing Debbie and Charlie aside.   
  
"Abbey?" Jed called out.  
  
"You still want this?" she asked, waving around the papers as Leo came in from his office after hearing the commotion.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Divorce papers!" she screamed. "They were just delivered."  
  
"Let's not do this here."   
  
Jed led Abbey out of the office and into the Residence.  
  
"What, no audience? At least in the Oval Office you could humiliate me in front of others."  
  
"Abbey, please."  
  
"What has all this been about, Jed? All the sweet talk, all the 'lets go on our first date' and start all over nonsense? I thought you were coming around. Instead, I find out you're setting me up for a big fall."  
  
"That isn't what this was. I wouldn't set you up," he assured her.  
  
"Well, you could have fooled me."  
  
"I didn't think the papers were going to come this soon. I thought it would take several months and that I could call it off before you got them if I changed my mind."  
  
Abbey was more than a little surprised at what she was hearing. "If you changed your mind?"   
  
Jed continued to try to make her understand. To him, she didn't just sleep with someone else, she broke the wedding vows that he regarded so sacred. That, in and of itself, was difficult for him to move past. Everytime he got close, something else would happen -- the night that Leo came to the Residence and Abbey lied to him, once again, about why he was there, for instance. And now, baby Miranda had placed more doubts in Jed's mind.  
  
"She has a birthmark on her neck," he told her.  
  
"So what?"  
  
"I don't have one and neither do you."  
  
"Jed, a lot of people have birthmarks. My father did, his mother did..."  
  
"Leo does."  
  
Abbey looked into his eyes, not understanding what he was really implying.  
  
"He has one in the same spot, similar shape," he continued.  
  
"Oh my god," Abbey started. "You think...oh my god."  
  
"Were you straight with me about when Miranda was conceived?"  
  
"I'm not going to do this."  
  
Abbey began to leave, but Jed blocked her path.  
  
"I'm not trying to be a jackass. I need to know."  
  
"You ARE a jackass. Get out of my way," she shouted, pushing him aside and leaving the room with the divorce papers in her hands.  
  
Jed followed her down the hall and into the bedroom.   
  
"I wouldn't love her any less. I'm just saying you haven't always been completely honest with me."  
  
"What do you want, a DNA test? I'll agree to it. Not because I want you to believe me, but because I can't stand the fact that you may look at your daughter one day and doubt that you're her father. That would kill her."  
  
"I would never hurt Miranda," he said.  
  
"Isn't that what you used to say about me?" Jed looked down at the floor. Abbey took the papers and went over to her vanity. "You wanted this divorce all along, Jed. Well guess what, you finally convinced me!"  
  
She signed the papers and he made no effort to stop her.  
  
"Abbey..."  
  
With tears in her eyes, she responded quickly, "No, don't say anything. You got what you wanted. You'll never trust me again and to tell you the truth, I'm tired of trying to get you to. I broke our vows and I broke your heart and I will spend the rest of my life regretting the decisions I made, but I'll be damned if I'm going to raise our daughter in an environment of one-upsmanship, where it's about how to get even with someone, instead of how to forgive them."  
  
"Good old Abbey. Always the victim, right?" he replied, sparking even more anger in her.  
  
"You know what, Jed, go to hell," she said, slapping the papers against his chest as she walked out.  
  
TBC 


	13. Sorting it out

Mistakes -- Part 11  
  
Characters: Jed/Leo  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: The divorce papers are signed by both Jed and Abbey, but Jed has second thoughts.  
  
Jed sat at his desk and looked at the papers for hours before picking up his pen and signing them. Abbey was right, he thought. He didn't know if they could ever recover from this, no matter how much he wanted to. He put the papers away and headed to Leo's office. It was late, but he knew Leo would still be there. The two hadn't talked much since Abbey was released from the hospital.  
  
Jed knocked on his door before coming in. Leo was surprised to see him. Jed explained that Abbey was served with divorce papers and told him about the fight that ensued. Once Leo got over the shock of Jed discussing anything Abbey-related with him, he felt he needed to be there for his friend.  
  
"You have every right to have doubts," Leo told him, "but in fairness to Abbey, today's blow-up had nothing to do with your doubts. It was about hers."  
  
"What doubts?"  
  
"You made her believe that you were willing to give her another chance. She fell for it, then you let her down."  
  
"This was our deal from the day she told me she was pregnant. Have the baby, then we'll see what happens," he insisted.  
  
"And something DID happen along the way," Leo began. "You fell in love with her all over again, and she knew it."  
  
"How the hell am I the villain here?"  
  
"You told me..."  
  
"Leo..." Jed interrupted.  
  
"At the hospital..." Leo spoke over him, "...you told me that if you lost her you wouldn't be able to go on. Now you've lost her, not because of cancer, but because you're an idiot. She trusted you and you knew that. You knew she was starting to feel that things would work out. You let her believe it, then you hit her with divorce papers."  
  
"She slept with you! She turned her back on me, on our vows!"  
  
"You got over the fact that she betrayed the vows a long time ago! What you can't get over is that she hurt you and you're afraid she's going to do it again. You're afraid to trust her."  
  
"Maybe I am," Jed admitted after a pause. "I never knew it could hurt that badly. How can I trust anything she's telling me? How will I ever know if it's the truth?"  
  
"Because you know how sorry she is. You know that she'd rather die than do this to you again. And you'd rather die than give her a chance to. So now, you have to decide if your fears are going to keep you from going back to the Residence and asking her to stay."  
  
Jed opened his eyes and slowly came out of his daydream. He realized the conversation he had with Leo had only played out in his mind. He needed his friend back and though it would be too uncomfortable for him to turn to Leo about this, his mind took over and helped him sort it out anyway. In reality, he was still sitting at his desk, staring at the divorce papers he had just signed, sealed, and addressed.   
  
He knew it was now or never between him and Abbey. If he went through with the divorce, he'd lose her for good and despite her indiscretion, he couldn't face that. Miranda's conception was a miracle in many ways. Not only was he blessed with another daughter to care for, but because of Abbey's pregnancy, coupled with his Presidency, he was forced to give her another chance and in doing that, he found the love that had somehow drifted away since they moved into the White House.  
  
He hadn't thought about their earlier years in ages. Watching Abbey in mommy-mode brought it all back and suddenly, everything made sense. The Jed she married wouldn't have announced his reelction campaign without her, he wouldn't have shut her out when he was struggling with a moral dilemma. He understood why Abbey felt so alone. She was alone. And now, she made a mistake. Why couldn't he forgive her one mistake after all the years of joy she brought to his life, he wondered.   
  
Jed believed Miranda was his daughter. He allowed himself to have doubts because it made his other doubts easier to handle. Birthmark or not, she was a Bartlet and Abbey would have never lied about something like paternity. Originally, their deal included a DNA test once the baby was born, but over the months, Jed realized how unnecessary that was. Even now, when confronted, Abbey voluntarily offered one, for Miranda's sake. Still, it was unnecessary. Part of him still did trust Abbey. All of him knew he didn't want to lose her.  
  
He got up to leave his office, making a stop along the way. He knocked on Leo's door and let himself in, this time for real.  
  
"Mr. President?" Leo began, concerned that something was wrong.   
  
"I just wanted to say...good night, Leo," Jed said.  
  
"Good night, sir," Leo replied.  
  
Jed left and headed back for the Residence. By the time he got there, Abbey was already asleep. Beside her bed, she had bags and suitcases already packed. Jed realized he had to act fast if he wanted to stop her from leaving.   
  
TBC 


	14. Forgiveness

Mistakes -- Part 12  
  
Characters: Jed/Abbey (here's the sweet ending so many of you wanted!)  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, but I love to play with them a little! Thank you to Aaron Sorkin, Warner Bros, and NBC!   
  
Feedback is always welcomed!  
  
Summary: Jed hopes he isn't too late to save his marriage.  
  
Early the next morning, Jed left the White House. He knew what he wanted to do and he had to get it done before Abbey woke up. As his motorcade made its way through the streets of Washington, D.C., one image kept replaying through his head: his and Abbey's wedding day.  
  
Flashback:  
  
Abbey had been admiring her wedding gown in a full-length mirror in the bride's room. By all accounts, she looked even more gorgeous than usual. Her long, auburn hair was pulled back, with only a few pieces caressing the side of her face. Her strapless white gown fit her beautifully, drawing attention to her assets with a sweetheart neckline and Austrian crystals that cascaded around her waist. She didn't know it, but Jed snuck a peak when the door was left ajar by one of the bridesmaids. He didn't think he had ever seen anything so beautiful in all his life. How could he even think of not marrying her?  
  
When it came time for him to walk down the aisle and prepare to greet his bride, Jed never made it. He had been wrestling with doubts for weeks. He hadn't told anyone, but Abbey knew. When she realized there was a problem, she headed upstairs to his room. Most brides would have been fuming, but not Abbey.  
  
"Josiah Bartlet, what the hell is going on?" she asked.  
  
"Abbey. I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be sorry, just get your ass downstairs," she said, grabbing his arm.  
  
"I can't," he replied, pulling away from her grasp.  
  
"Look, I know you're scared."  
  
"Who told you I was scared?"   
  
"No one told me, you jackass. I know you. And I know that I'm scared too. I've never done this before either. But we'll walk each other through it and I don't just mean the ceremony. I mean the marriage, parenthood, everything."  
  
Jed looked into her eyes and his fears melted. In his life, marriage would be forever. All the questions he had -- was Abbey the right one, would she be a good mother to his children -- faded away. He knew he could do whatever he wanted with Abbey by his side. He held his arm out and she wrapped hers around it as they walked out together.  
  
"You know, the way you barged in here...isn't there some old wive's tale warning against that -- bad luck, or some such nonsense?"  
  
Abbey stopped and turned to her fiance.  
  
"Jed?" she said seriously, "don't make fun of the superstition."  
  
"What, are the Gods of folklore now going to descend to Earth, creating a black cloud over the ceremony?"  
  
"Seriously, don't make fun of the superstition."  
  
"Abbey."  
  
"If we're divorced in 30 years, I'll know who to blame."  
  
"Believe me, Abigail, if we ever make it to the alter, nothing's going to break us up."  
  
Present day:  
  
Jed sat in the car, hoping he'd make it back to the White House before Abbey had a chance to continue packing. When they pulled up to the Residence, he ran to find Abbey. He opened the bedroom door and was shocked to find the bed was empty and had already been made. The suitcases were also gone. A wave of panic hit Jed until he ran into Abbey in the hall. He grabbed her and dragged her into the bedroom, sitting her down on the bed.   
  
"Jed, I really don't have time for more discussion."  
  
"It's not a discussion. It's a lecture. Just sit back and listen."  
  
Abbey folded her arms and looked at him with anger in her eyes.  
  
"Make it quick."  
  
"You're the only woman I ever fell in love with. I fell hard, Abbey. I know the past few years have been difficult, but we've made it through difficult times before. I assumed we would this time. You threw me a curveball with Leo. I'm not asking for another apology. I'm just saying it frightened me. I felt things I had never felt before, things I don't ever want to feel again."  
  
"It was a mistake," Abbey interjected.  
  
"Please, let me finish," Jed continued. "I know it was a mistake. You're not the only one who's made them. I pushed you away when all I wanted to do was get close to you. When we were courting before we got married, you took my breath away. I didn't think I could feel that way ever again, but I was wrong. While you were pregnant, I fell in love with you all over again. I told myself it was just because you were carrying my child, but it was more. It was you. I was forced to look at you in a different way and I realized no matter what, I love you."  
  
Jed stopped long enough to take a seat next to Abbey on the bed. He raised her head so their eyes met.  
  
"I forgive you for everything, Abigail, and I'm begging you to please...forgive me," he said simply.  
  
"I don't know. I have to think about it," she said with a smile. "Of course I forgive you," she continued after a slight pause, which caused Jed's face to turn pale for a moment. "Jed, I will always regret how much I hurt you. I am so, so sorry for everything I put you through."  
  
Abbey's words were sincere. She knew that while she didn't cause the rift between them all by herself, she certainly made it much worse. For a man who valued his wedding vows so deeply, forgiving her was almost asking too much. She didn't have hope of reconcilliation when he first found out, but over the months, the baby had done something she wished had happened years earlier -- made them talk. They got to know one another away from politics for the first time since he was elected President. All the old feelings came back, for both of them, making her affair a bigger regret. How could she stay mad at him for his doubts when she's the one who gave him reason to doubt her? Even if he forgave her, it would still take a lot of marriage counseling to move past the hurt once and for all.  
  
Abbey wanted to say more, but Jed cut her off. He took her ring off her finger, and replaced it with a new one, as he asked her to marry him all over again in a few weeks. He wrapped his arms around her when she said yes and they both collapsed on to the bed.   
  
He layed her on her back and climbed on top of her, kissing her neck.  
  
"I love you," she reminded him.  
  
"I love you too," he replied, in between kisses.  
  
"I'll never break another vow."  
  
"Even the one where you promise to obey?" he asked, teasing her.  
  
She pulled away slightly, causing him to stare at her before she continued. "Yeah, let's get rid of that one right now."  
  
He continued unbuttoning her blouse.  
  
"Jed?"  
  
"No more talking," he told her gently, his kisses circling her breasts.  
  
"Did the divorce papers ever go out?" she asked.  
  
He pulled back, horrified. "Oh god. I left them on my desk. I bet Debbie sent them out when she came in."  
  
"How long does it take for them to become finalized?"  
  
"Several months."  
  
"Maybe we should renew our vows next year too, just in case," she said as he began tossing her clothes over the bed.  
  
The End 


End file.
